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Whether your child has a diagnosed learning difficulty, is struggling emotionally, or just needs a little extra support at school, communicating with their teacher is key. Teachers want to help—but they may not always have the full picture. As a parent, you know your child best. Here’s how to start an open, supportive conversation with their teacher to ensure your child gets the help they need, inspired by the practices of this private school in Kent.
Prepare Before the Conversation
Before approaching the teacher, it helps to be clear on what you want to say. Take note of specific concerns—whether it’s about your child’s academic progress, social behaviour, or emotional wellbeing. Try to gather examples. Is your child avoiding homework? Complaining about friendships? Showing signs of anxiety? These details will help the teacher understand your concerns and look out for patterns in school.
It can also be helpful to review any assessments or reports you may have, such as an educational psychologist’s evaluation, or a GP’s note if applicable. Bring these along if you feel they could provide context.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
Avoid catching teachers during drop-off or pick-up, when time is tight and distractions are plenty. Instead, request a meeting—whether in person, over the phone or via video call. This shows respect for the teacher’s schedule and ensures you’ll have a calm space for discussion.
When sending your request, a brief message such as “I’d really appreciate a time to talk about how [child’s name] is getting on and whether there’s any additional support they might benefit from” is often enough to get the ball rolling.
Focus on Collaboration, Not Criticism
Teachers will likely appreciate your insight—but like all of us, they’re human too. Try to keep the tone positive and collaborative, rather than confrontational. Use phrases like:
· “We’ve noticed at home that… have you seen anything similar in class?”
· “I’d love to work together on a strategy that helps [child’s name] feel more confident.”
· “What do you think might help from your end?”
A shared approach helps build trust and leads to more effective solutions.
Be Honest, but Stay Solution-Focused
It’s okay to talk about difficult topics—whether it’s your child’s anxiety, learning differences or problems with classmates. The key is to stay focused on what your child needs in order to thrive. That might include extra support in lessons, access to the school counsellor, or simply a bit more encouragement.
Ask the teacher what support is already in place, and what else might be possible. If your child has an Individual Education Plan (IEP), or is eligible for SEN support, this can also be discussed.
Keep the Conversation Going
One meeting is a great start—but keeping in touch is even better. Agree how you’ll stay updated. This could be a quick email check-in once a month, a note in the reading diary, or a follow-up meeting each term.
When parents and teachers communicate openly, it becomes easier to spot problems early—and to celebrate progress along the way.
Encourage Your Child’s Voice
Where appropriate, involve your child in the process. Depending on their age and maturity, they may be able to articulate what they’re finding difficult or what kind of support feels helpful. This empowers them to take ownership of their learning and gives teachers a fuller understanding of the situation. Even a simple conversation at home—“How are things going at school?” or “Is there anything that would make learning easier for you?”—can uncover insights that inform your discussion with teachers.
Final Thought: Remember, you and your child’s teacher are on the same team. By approaching the conversation with empathy, clarity and a shared goal, you can create a strong foundation for your child’s success—both in and out of the classroom.